Emma Palmer

Who do we think we are? Who do I think I am? Who do you think you are?

Reflections (so far) on embodied ancestry

 

Welcome again...

from me and my people who spring from the British Isles, Norway and India. Greetings to you and your people and the lands from which you grew - and grow.

 

Ancestral reverence

For as long as I can remember I’ve been fascinated by ancestors. Perhaps that’s because I grew up in a history-loving family. Or because of the vast ancestral differences between my Mum and my late Dad’s lineages. Or because I’m curious and relational. Or perhaps it’s because my two deceased grandfathers were as present in my formative years as my living grandmothers in terms of my family’s reverence for them and their shaping of little me.

 

Communing
Dwelling with the liminal and communication with the unseen – elements, spirits, ancestors – feels as familiar as more human-oriented life. Since my dad died 21 years ago, I have taught myself genealogy; uncovering secrets and attempting to set some things straight (little did I know I would uncover even more mysteries). As it turns out, when I started out genealogy was somewhat ‘trending’ in the UK zeitgeist, with the rise of the Ancestry and Find My Past apps and shows like the BBC’s ‘Who you think you are’ (here’s an early blog piece I wrote in 2009, inspired by that show).

 

Embodied ancestry

Since the early millennium I’ve developed a practice something akin to ‘embodied ancestry,’ influenced by my work as a body psychotherapist, ecopsychologist, animism, book author and being a graduate social scientist. I have ended up undertaking genealogical research on all my lines as far back as I can reach, which is back to the 16th century on several. I’ve also had the honour of researching numerous friends’ family trees.

 

I have also written about ancestry sporadically. I’ve published articles in two psychotherapy publications: ‘Taboo: Ancestral baggage’, which explores the hot denial of our dual heritage and ‘Touched by the past in the present', about my paternal grandfather’s world war two death and our pilgrimage to Vestfold in Norway, paying our respects at his grave. I am currently immersed in ancestral writing again – the stories, the facts, the mysteries and the love - seeing if I can distil and synthesise the stories of the 'gone befores' in a way which is universal enough to make sense to readers.

 

Ancestral work in practice

Embracing the ancestors and the riches and sorrows of their lives has been an important part of my work with psychotherapy clients and supervisees, in making sense of family patterns, in going deeper in understanding intergenerational trauma, for example, the immense harm caused by white supremacy, by colonisation, enslavement, and other forms of oppression. Being inclusive of ancestors has also meant that clients are more able to absorb the blessings and embody more fully the helpful qualities downstream from different familial lines.

 

My interest has coincided with a much wider interest in intergenerational trauma and systemic work in psychotherapy. An invaluable aspect of embracing ancestral wisdom is that it usefully and in a timely way reminds us that we are not alone, easy to forget in these individualistic times. We also can’t heal stuff alone – it’s a relation thing, we all come from somewhere and are born into relationship with the seen and the unseen.

 

Ancestors of other forms of lineage

Ancestors of lineages other than blood are important to me, too. I remember vividly the latter stages of writing my first book, ‘Meditating with character’, how I suddenly realised, bathed in golden sunlight one afternoon, that I was sitting on the shoulders of all the body psychotherapists and meditators in my lineages who had come before and taught me (who was really doing the writing, I wonder!?) I have felt a similar sense of resonance or transmission or blessing – hard to neatly put into words - as I was initiated into the meditation and devotional practices of a particular Buddha figure and their family and lineage, as a Buddhist meditator and Dharma practitioner of three decades.

 

Ancestral Medicine

In recent times I have had the good fortune of encountering the ancestral healing process developed by Dr Daniel Foor and am learning a huge amount from him, from Shannon Willis, and the other excellent people at Ancestral Medicine. The steps in the process Daniel has developed provide safety and a way of coming into direct and conscious relationship with our blood ancestors for personal, as well as for family, and cultural healing (have a look at Daniel’s book).

 

I have found the process of healing and elevating the dead along each of my family lines phenomenal. It has also been phenomenally transformational (and a short-lived shock to my ‘wounded healer’ ego, honestly) to realise that I am not the one doing the healing, instead seeking the support of healed, vibrant ancestors on the particular line on which I am working (e.g. my Mum’s Mum’s line - see a collage to those awesome grandmothers, above).

 

Not only has this healing been personally liberating, there is a strong, tangible sense of serving the generations of ancestors who have come before. I have also been taken aback in the contribution of ancestral healing to much needed cultural repair. Coming from lines of ancestors from the British Isles who colonised India as well as lines of colonised folk indigenous to India, Pakistan and Bangladesh, it has been remarkable to heal these lines: humbling, joyful, intensely painful at times, but ultimately, liberating.

 

Understanding the complexities of my family history and harmonising the lines which have been at odds with one another has been profoundly healing. It has been the most effective way of ‘decolonising’ and softening in the aftermath – on an embodied level, right through to a societal level – of human supremacy, white supremacy and entrenched power dynamics in how I have been wired and how I can act from now onwards. For example, this learning has further strengthened my present-day commitment to social and earth justice and honouring of all of life, human or more-than-human, deepening my existing ecopsychology/animist practice.

 

Watch this space

Enthused by the potency and efficacy of this work and deepening into my ‘embodied ancestry’ practice, I have embarked on training to become an ancestral healing practitioner with Ancestral Medicine. All being well, from sometime in spring/summer 2025 I will be facilitating one to one sessions, initially as a trainee. Please watch this space if you’re drawn to the sound of ancestral healing work and might like to work together, supported by our collective people.  

 

Thanks for reading.